i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize