roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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