it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
It's shark week go big or go home
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
