Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
