Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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