I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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