They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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