Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Quick, to the slutcave!
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
you will always have a special place in my vag
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
