In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize