i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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