Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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