I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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