Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Randomize
