is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
