high people should be assigned attendants
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I think your dad took our porno
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
