I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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