i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
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