I showed him my bush... on skype.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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