Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
try to milk me bitch
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