I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize