thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
