summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
