she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
