were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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