please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
