A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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