Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
