I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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