you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
