her vagine was all disorganized.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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