never play flip cup with pint glasses
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Mom said you looked used
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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