I wish I only lived at night.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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