my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
