You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
