all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I touched a dick in church today
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
