Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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