i would punch a child for taco bell
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Randomize
