Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Randomize
