He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Randomize
