i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
