..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
sex in a hospital.. check
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize