Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize