Why are handjobs necessary in class?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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