I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
