The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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