Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
