Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
pop tarts are not kleenex
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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