I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
