how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
