Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
