Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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