would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
