left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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