It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Randomize
