i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
