And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
