can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
