I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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