Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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