Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Damn victory sex feels great
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
