went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
