Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize