Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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