Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
