hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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