I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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