The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
You pole danced in your parka.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize