Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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