i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Houston, we have a blender
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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