I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
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