i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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