i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
